Sexual sadism is a form of sexual expression, with the most common activities including spanking, biting, bondage/handcuffs, and verbal humiliation. Pain has the ability to heighten sensations, excitement, and sexual arousal. Sadomasochism is usually scene specific, making it different from Dominant/submissive dynamics.
- Sadist: the d-type or top who is in control of another's pleasure mentally and/or physically, stimulating them through pain.
- Masochist: the s-type or bottom, who allows another to control their pleasure through pain.
- Sadomasochism: the psychological tendency or sexual practice characterized by both sadism and masochism.
Sadism Development
Sadism is no longer considered a disorder unless it causes "significant emotional anguish" or done without consent. While the stigma around kinky sadism has reduced, it is still important to know that self-harming acts are still considered a mental health issue, even if it is instructed by a sadist partner.
- Algolagnia: arousal from the sensation of pain.
- Paraphilia: persistent and recurrent sexual interests, urges, fantasies, and/or behaviors of marked intensity involving objects, activities, or even situations that are atypical in nature. There are eight major recognized paraphilias, including Sexual Masochism Disorder, and Sexual Sadism Disorder. Paraphilia is a clinical concept with specific diagnostic criteria, whereas a kink is a descriptive term for diverse sexual expression.
- Rhabdophilia: the paraphilia associated with arousal from being beaten or punished.
While there are no concrete scientific explanations on how sadist desires develop, or why, there are a few theories.
Unresolved Oedipus Complex:
This concept was created by Sigmund Freud and is often used to support the idea that sadism develops as a result of a disturbed personality development. Check out "Angst, Lust, Zerstorung: Sadism als soziales und kriminelles Handeln" by Nikolaus Becker and Eberhart Schorsch for more information on this theory.
Compensation
Another theory is that sadism compensates for unpleasant events by sexualizing them. This was originally theorized by Robert Stoller, who concluded that sex is a positive contrast to pain, and that one could turn a painful experience into something more positive. Stoller often explained sadism as "an erotic form of hatred" that was rooted in childhood trauma that created hostile fantasies of revenge in order to rewrite past traumatic experiences. Check out "Perversion: The Erotic Form of Hatred" by Robert Stoller for more information on his theory.
Pavlovian Conditioning
Piggybacking off the previous theory, this one assumes that sexual arousal can develop through suffering and be reinforced through repetition. For example, masturbating during sadistic play and fantasies, could connect pain as a pleasure source. For more information on Pavlovian Conditioning, check out this wikipedia article.
Types of Sadomasochism
Physical
This type of sadomasochism includes the infliction of physical pain. Some examples include impact play, pressure points, forced orgasms, breast/clit torture, cock and ball torture (CBT), rough penetration, biting, hair pulling, needles and play piercing, knife play and artistic cutting.
Emotional
Emotional sadomasochism focuses on psychological pain. Despite not having visual marks, this can still have profound impacts on a participant. Some examples include humiliation, degradation, mindfucking, and fear play.
Sexual vs Non-Sexual
Sexual sadism is the need to cause pain during sexual acts as a way to increase excitement and pleasure. It relies on the conjunction of pain and pleasure.
Non-sexual sadism usually has a sexual origin, but isn't expressed sexually. It is more about exercising fantasies of omnipotence.
Compensatory sadism is the replacement of sexual acts with the act of inflicting pain. The sadistic preferences will completely replace sexual acts.
Types of Kinky Sadists
Service Sadists
Similar to a service top, the satisfaction for this sadist comes from bringing their partner to satisfaction. Examples of Service Sadists include Master/slave dynamics, sensual and soft d-types, and even Adult/little dynamics that include "funishments" and punishments.
Disciplinary Sadists
These sadists teach lessons through pain. Lessons are explained thoroughly so that a never ending cycle of punishment doesn't form. These sadists often use surrender and submission, as well as s-type maintenance.
Action Sadists
These sadists take pleasure from the power they feel when using their tools, and from their actions. Examples of this could include impact play, wax play, needles and play piercings, knife play, and artistic cutting.
Roleplay Sadists
Usually with an implication of character motivation that makes the sadist role enticing, these sadists enjoy affecting their partner through a scene-given role. Some examples of this sadist role include being the beast in primal play, being the owner in pet play, being the hunter in damsel play, and being the vampire in vampirism play.
Reaction Seeking Sadists
These sadists enjoy seeing how their actions affect their partner. Some examples are crying, sexual denial, edging, squirming, tickle torture, and sissification.
Tormenting Sadists
These sadists enjoy tormenting others to bring about suffering. Sadistic activities include cucking, degrading, fear play, consent-non-consent (CNC), and blanket consent.
Tyrannical Sadists
Pairing well with Tormenting Sadists, as they appeal to those who have feelings of powerlessness in their personal lives, these sadists want to dominate their partner and make them feel like they have no choice. Sadistic activities include dollification, body modification, internal slavery, and forniphilia (human furniture).
Before Sadistic Play
As with all types of play, it is crucial to gain informed consent from all parties involved. This includes learning what limits your partner has, what is good types of play and what is not, and establishing safe words and safe signals. This is also the time to discuss the different methods for ethical play, and figure out what will work best for you.
Pro Tip: If you're looking for info on methods for ethical play, check out this article to get you started. For help on safewords and safesignals, check out this one. For learning about boundaries and limits, start here.
Learning some basic human anatomy will be crucial if your sadistic play includes risky play like impact play, heavy bondage, or artistic cutting. It might also be a good idea to build your own personal Risk Profile, and discussing the risks of these types of play.
Trauma Informed Consensual Kink (TICK) may be a topic to dive into if your partner has past traumas that may arise or be triggered during play. Ensure that you have a customized first aid kit and aftercare kit that is catered to your partner and the kinds of play you will be participating in.
Always remember the difference between BDSM and abuse. Sadistic play can get out of hand quickly, and there is always risk that the play dives into paraphilia, which is not part of BDSM. If you feel unsafe or in crisis, do not be afraid to reach out for help.
